Hey there Reader,

We need to talk about something that doesn't get enough exposure.

How do you balance advocating for your own needs when they conflict with someone else’s?

A workplace situation.

A relationship.

A family dynamic.

Whatever the setting — you’ve got your needs, they’ve got theirs, and suddenly the whole thing feels like a standoff nobody asked for.

Let's validate this for a moment, it's hard.

I’m not going to dress that up for you.

However, I do have an idea for you.

Approach this curiously, not furiously.

When you're not feeling seen or heard, when your needs aren’t being met, you're already running on less capacity than usual.

Throw another person (or a whole organisation) into that mix who’s also not feeling validated, and you’ve got a swirling cauldron of unmet needs just waiting to combust.

Not ideal.

Getting curious — rather than irritable — creates just enough space to hold multiple things at once.

Responding rather than reacting.

Your needs are real.

Their needs are also real.

Nobody is wrong for having them.

This is where assertive communication becomes genuinely useful, not just a buzzword.

Not aggressive, not passive, not passive-aggressive (we’ve all been there).

Assertive.

It’s the difference between escalating a situation and actually finding a way through it.

The moment we focus on right and wrong, we’ve already made it harder.

We live in a very binary world — right/wrong, good/bad, valid/invalid — and when we’re talking about feelings and needs, that framing doesn’t serve anyone.

Least of all you.

So if you can — and I know it’s not always easy — try to shift the goal from winning to collaborating.

A solution that works for everyone as much as possible.

And throughout everything, more compassion.

For them and also for you.

Give yourself permission to be imperfect.

Making mistakes and being messy doesn’t mean you’re broken.

It’s evidence that you are human and you are trying.

It’s how you learn to flex these skills so that advocating for yourself starts to feel less like a battle and more like a habit.

If you find yourself feeling resentful, stretched thin, frustrated that everyone else seems to get what they need while you’re running on empty — there might be something else worth looking at there.

The gap between who you are and what you’re actually spending your capacity on.

I’ll be going into that on Friday, and I think it’ll land.

Sit with this one for a bit — curiously, not furiously — and see what comes up.

I’d love to hear from you if any of this sparks something.

Best and brightest love.

Beth x

P.S. Friday’s email is going to build on this. If the resentment thing landed for you, you’ll want to read it